


Lost Soul

by bavarian_angel



Category: MotoGP RPF, Motorcycling RPF, Motorsport RPF
Genre: Confrontations, M/M, Missing Persons, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 01:17:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8231201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bavarian_angel/pseuds/bavarian_angel
Summary: Alex's life had never been the same after that fateful day in December five years ago.





	

Alex looked up at the dark ceiling of the motorhome. It was way too early to be awake, but he couldn’t help himself. Yesterday he had managed to ride his best qualifying in his Moto2 career. The bike was good this weekend and if all went well, he might just have a chance to finally score that podium. If only _he_ was here...

Alex tried to push this train of thought as quickly as possible out of his mind, when he felt the older man wrapped around him stir a little bit. For a moment, he held his breath, willing the other one to go back to sleep, but a muffled sigh was enough to tell him that it was too late.

“Hey...”

“Morning... if it’s already morning...”

Alex chuckled at Dani’s grumpy face which he tried to hide under the duvet.

“It’s around 5...”

“Too early.”

“I know. I’m sorry, I couldn’t sleep anymore. And I need to get back before my parents wake up.”

“Too early.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a grumpy cat in the morning?”

“You... probably a hundred times.”

“And you know that I say it with love.”

Alex bent down and pressed a kiss into Dani’s hair before untangling himself from the duvet. Despite the fact that his boyfriend was buried under the comfy bedding, Alex could feel his eyes on him while he was getting dressed. Tucking the cap deep into his face in the end, Alex turned around and reached for Dani’s hand, pressing a kiss on it.

“Good luck for today.”

“You too. I know you can make it. I love you.”

With a smile on his face, Alex could feel those familiar butterflies as he got up and left Dani’s motorhome. There was just the tiniest hint of the upcoming day on the horizon when he made his way over to his own. Reaching the door after a quick jog, Alex turned around once again, looking out at the track. This would be an important day, he could feel it in his heart.

~*~

Nothing tasted sweeter than podium champagne, especially if it was your first ever Moto2 podium. Alex could still feel the rush of adrenaline hours later. He had made it - despite what so many people had said about him. He had showed them that there was more to him than being the brother of Marc Marquez.

Looking around his motorhome, the small space cramped with people tonight, he saw that almost everybody was here, all the people in his life that mattered, that got his back no matter what - except two.

Dani had come over after his own race, congratulating him behind locked doors in the bathroom, before returning to his team meeting. This was one of many reasons why Alex couldn’t wait for the end of the season, at least telling his parents about Dani after the test in Valencia.

The other person wasn’t just missing from the party. If Alex was sure about one single thing in his life, it would be the fact that this one hole in his heart, that had been there since that fateful day in December five years ago, would never be filled, unless the miracle would happen and Marc would walk through that door again.

Swallowing the last bit of his beer, knowing it would be his last as Guille kept a watchful eye on him and had reminded him several times of the upcoming test the next day, he turned towards his mechanic, about to answer to some joke he had made, when Alex noticed his mother out of the corner of his eye, as she pulled out her obviously ringing mobile phone.

He didn’t think much of it at first, probably a relative to congratulate him on the race. But the moment he saw her go pale, he knew something was wrong. The moment his father caught his wailing and sobbing mother, Alex’s world stopped turning.

~*~

_It had been over 48 hours. After his mother’s desperate call, they had sent two police men, who were both now sitting at their dining table, their faces unreadable._

“ _So, the last time you saw him was when he went to bed on Monday evening, right?”_

_Roser nodded, grasping her husband’s hand for support._

“ _Yes. He claimed to be tired and went to bed early. That’s unusual for him, but then there was nothing usual in the last couple of weeks...”_

_Alex was listening to the words that were spoken, but still couldn’t believe it. It felt so unreal for him. He just wanted to wake up and find his brother sitting there on the other side of the table - not his mother who was fighting back tears._

“ _And you didn’t hear him leave at night?”_

“ _No, nothing...”_

“ _I... I did... at least I think I did...”_

_Four pairs of eyes were on him within a second and for a moment Alex wanted to disappear, just like Marc._

“ _Alex! Not again!”_

“ _Please, Señora Alentà... What did you hear, Alex?”_

_The older police man watched him carefully, slightly nodding in encouragement._

“ _I’m... I’m not sure if I was dreaming or not, but... I think I heard him coming into my room. He... he just said ‘I’m so sorry.’ and then he left again.”_

“ _It’s okay, Alex,” the police man said and nodded before once again turning towards his parents._

“ _Now I need to ask you this... Did Marc show any sign... did he ever say anything that might indicate that he didn’t want to live anymore?”_

_Hearing those words, Roser gasped loudly._

“ _What are you indicating with this? You don’t know my son! He would never think about this...”_

“ _Roser...”_

_Julia looked up at his wife, tears threatening to fall from his eyes as his fingers dug into the table cloth, his knuckles almost turning white._

“ _What?! Marc would never...”_

“ _Really? God, Roser, you saw him those last couple of weeks. That wasn’t our son anymore. You know that riding is his life.”_

“ _Are you telling me that you seriously think that my son, my baby...?”_

“ _I don’t know. I really don’t know...”_

_His father’s words were still ringing in his head as Alex jumped up from his chair, fleeing from the room, the air too thick for him to breath._

~*~

Dani had just drifted off to sleep and for a moment he was convinced that the loud pounding indicated some serious engine issues in his dreams before he realized it was actually coming from his motorhome door. Getting up from his bed, he tried to shake the last traces of sleep from his face. He was actually glad that he was wearing a t-shirt and boxers as he finally made his way over to the door. Dani didn’t know what he had been expecting to find on the other side, especially in the middle of the night in the paddock, but it definitely wasn’t a crying and swaying Alex Marquez.

“Alex?”

Suddenly awake as if he had taken a cold shower, Dani scooped up the younger man in his arms as Alex didn’t answer him. He hated the dark dreadful feeling that was settling in his chest while he helped Alex over to the bed. The younger rider was hiccuping between his sobs, mumbling into his chest, holding onto Dani as if he was drowning.

“Babe... please... tell me what’s wrong? What happened?”

For a moment it seemed as if Alex’s sobs increased before finally a single word got through to him.

“Marc...”

~*~

Dani hadn’t found one bit of sleep last night. Alex had eventually cried himself to sleep, Dani holding him close all night long. Making Alex and himself a cup of coffee the next morning, Dani somehow tried to postpone this conversation a little bit further, suddenly not wanting to know what had torn his boyfriend apart. Sighing, he picked up the two cups and carried them over to the small table. Alex couldn’t even look up when he placed the cup in front of him. Dani sat down on the other side, pulling up his legs, his eyes firmly on the other man.

“What happened? Did they...?”

Dani watched Alex shut his eyes and his heart was breaking for him, when he noticed the slight shake of his head - and a single tear running down his cheek.

“No... They didn’t find him. However... they found something that once belonged to him.”

“What is it?”

“A sweater... the one he must have worn that night...”

Dani reached out to Alex’s hand, his thumb slowly stroking the cold skin.

“Are you really sure it’s his?”

Swallowing against the lump in his throat, Alex nodded slowly, his eyes firmly on their hands following the tiny movements of Dani’s hand.

“Yeah... it was a one of a kind. He got it at one of the Repsol events. I don’t know who gave it to him, must have been somebody from Honda, as a little incentive for maybe one day making it to the factory team... It was a Repsol Honda sweater with his 93 on it. Nobody else could have one like that... and it was missing from his things after...”

Not knowing what to answer to that, Dani remained silent for a moment. He simply looked up at Alex, realising the younger man needed a second to continue, and he hoped that he could feel that Dani was here for him, no matter what.

“They found it in a landfill south of Barcelona. It’s been ripped apart... and... and... they found traces of blood on it.”

Dani couldn’t hold back the gasp. Multiple horrible scenarios were running through his mind and he could see it in Alex’s face that he wasn’t the only one. He quickly got up and sat down next to Alex, pulling the younger man close.

“Right now, they’re running tests if it’s Marc’s... and the police want us to have a look at it to confirm it’s the missing sweater.”

“I’m so sorry, Alex. You know... I could always cancel that sponsor event in Madrid and come back to Cervera with you.”

He could instantly feel Alex shake his head against his shoulder. Once again, his heart was breaking for him.

“Thank you, but no. This is something my parents and me need to do. They would wonder what you’re doing there and I don’t want discuss our relationship with this spread out on the table.”

“Okay. As long as you know how much I love you and that one word is enough and I’ll be right by your side.”

Alex didn’t answer him. He only looked up at him, before he pulled him close, pressing his lips on his in a desperate kiss.

~*~

At first Dani was actually glad that he had decided to drive the way from Motorland to Madrid himself. Avoiding the motorway, he found roads that were empty enough for him to let his thoughts drift away without it getting dangerous. And all this time it was just one subject on his mind - Alex.

Dani knew that he had never loved anyone else like the younger man. They had met through Repsol even before Marc had disappeared and sometime along the way, Dani kind of taking care of the younger rider when his world had fallen apart, he had fallen for him, had fallen very hard.

About one and half hours after Teruel, in the middle of nowhere, Dani started to curse his idea though - because the hired Honda suddenly started to die on him. His whole dashboard was blinking at him. Sending prayers up above, Dani pleaded to at least make it into the next town - and for once destiny seemed to like him in this moment when he saw a gas station with a garage looming on the horizon.

He just about managed to turn off the street before his car basically lost consciousness. Sighing heavily, Dani let his head drop against the steering wheel. He had no idea where he was and right now his only wish was that there was somebody here who could resurrect the car for him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a young man coming over to him. He was wearing dirty blue overalls and was obviously coming out of the garage. Dani took a deep breath before he finally got out of the car, waving towards the young man.

“Hey. I think I need some...”

The last word died on Dani’s lips, when he caught a glimpse of the young man’s face. He was sure that his mind was playing tricks on him. The full lips, the short brown hair, one chocolate coloured eye, one hidden under a black eye patch. The gasp from the suddenly stopping man was the final confirmation he needed. Shocked glances were exchanged as Dani’s body started to shake.

“Marc...”

~*~

Dani didn’t care that the coffee in front of him was getting cold. He watched Marc walking up and down the garage like a trapped animal. He was pale and his hands were shaking like an alcoholic trying to stay sober.

The fault in his cars electronics had been a minor one and Marc had quickly fixed it - but they had not spoken a word. The tension in the air had built up constantly and they both knew that now they couldn’t avoid it anymore.

Marc finally came to an halt at the slightly dirty window a couple of metres away from Dani. His fingers touched the eye patch and Dani was sure that he was seeing tears shimmering in his good eye.

“Why?”

Startled, almost as if he had forgotten Dani’s presence for a moment, Marc looked up. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his overalls, his eye switching between the older man and the floor.

“Why...”

“Yes, why... why are we here, in the middle of nowhere, years after the last time we saw each other, while your family probably mourns your possible death right now? Why did you just disappear, never bothering to at least let them know you’re still alive, when you could have asked for help any time? Why has it been almost five years...?”

Dani kept on staring at Marc, resisting the urge to just shake the answers out of him, when the younger man just slightly shook his head, before letting himself slide to the floor when his legs were giving in on him.

“Dani... you have no idea... and why do _you_ even care anyway?”

“I fucking care because I held your crying brother for hours when they found your damn sweater yesterday, because he was clinging to me when he thought that his very last hopes of ever see you alive again had disappeared. He finally managed to get his first Moto2 podium and you fucking ruined it without even being there!”

Marc visibly winced at Dani’s outbreak, but the older rider didn’t care. Marc had to know about the hurt he was causing everybody, while he was hiding out here. Dani noticed him rubbing over his right forearm where a fresh scar was showing under the sleeves of his overall.

“It was a motocross accident... I didn’t... I didn’t think it would be found... or that anyone still remembered...”

Marc’s words were barely above a whisper and they didn’t help at all to diminish Dani’s anger.

“Of course, they still fucking remember. What do you think?”

Marc gave no answer to that. Dani sighed and simply shook his head.

“Do you still watch your brother’s races?”

“Every single one...”

“And do you have any idea why he crashed out so many times this season? Why he’s struggling so much this year?”

Marc shook his head.

“Because in December it would be five years... five years since you disappeared. And with no sign of life, they could actually declare you dead in December. This is what’s been stuck in Alex’s head all season long. You’re not even there and still you’re ruining everything. Not because something bad happened, not because you’re unable to communicate - and during all this time, you’ve been hiding like a fucking coward while your family is suffering because of you!”

Tears were running freely from Marc’s good eye. He didn’t even bother to wipe them away as he stared up at Dani.

“I... I didn’t want to be a burden...”

“What?”

At first, Dani thought he had misunderstood him. But when he saw the younger man turning into a sobbing mess in front of him, some of his anger started to melt away.

“I... I didn’t... after the crash... when I started seeing... seeing double... and when it didn’t get better... didn’t want to be a burden... all the time... all the money... with my career over... I couldn’t do this to them. I didn’t want... I’m no help... Alex... he didn’t deserve this. He shouldn’t need to worry about a disabled brother... should concentrate on his own... because he’s amazing... just wanted to be forgotten... didn’t want to be a burden... so sorry... I’m so sorry.”

Getting up from where he was sitting, Dani walked over to Marc before crouching down in front of him and carefully laying a hand on his shoulder.

“Marc... I swear that you wouldn’t be a burden. It would be the best gift ever for them if you returned to them. They love you, I know that. Anything would be better than letting them think that you’re dead. One word and they would welcome you with open arms. Let me call them and you could be back home as soon as possible.”

For a moment, Dani thought that Marc would nod and everything would be okay, but then the younger man once again shook his head, avoiding to look up.

“I’m sorry, Dani, but I can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t.”

Suppressing a groan, Dani felt like he had just crashed on the last corner before taking the win. He took a deep breath, got up and turned around. He could feel Marc’s eyes burning in his back, but he just walked over to the door.

“You know... I’m in love with your brother. I would do anything for him. And I’m sure as hell won’t let you hurt him anymore. I will be in Madrid for two days, I’ll be at the hotel Villa Real. If you decide to come to me, I will help you in any way. I will personally make sure that everything will be okay. If you don’t turn up, do us a favour and never return. I will tell Alex and your parents that you’re dead, so that they can finally move on and leave you behind... Goodbye, Marc.”

Without turning around, Dani left the garage and walked over to his car. Marc didn’t even come outside when he finally drove off.

~*~

A part of him had honestly thought that Marc would turn up. Checking out of his hotel in Madrid, Dani’s heart broke for the whole Marquez family.

~*~

The sun was already setting when Alex drove back home from Rufea. It hadn’t been planned and he had actually argued with his mother when he took off this morning, but everything that had happened in the last couple of days, Alex had been going crazy in his parents’ house - his podium in Motorland, Marc’s sweater being found, the blood on it definitely his, the police telling them that everything hinted towards Marc being dead...

Alex was driving down the street to his parents’ house when he saw the lone figure standing in the low light of the street lamp. Groaning, Alex hoped that it wouldn’t be another fan trying to seek him out at home. He couldn’t see his face because the man had pulled up the hood of his jacket. Alex parked the car in front of the house and got out, contemplating for a moment if he should just ignore the man before he slightly turned towards him.

“Sorry, but I’m really not in the mood for autographs tonight.”

Alex was about to move towards the front door of the house when he caught the other man slightly turning towards the light. Alex didn’t know what it was, but something inside him made him hesitate for a second. He looked over his shoulder as the other man slowly removed his hood.

“Alex...”

He was sure that he was dreaming, he had to be dreaming. Alex looked on when the other man slowly walked towards him. The dark eye patch built a stark contrast to his slightly pale skin. But it was him, it had to be him.

“Alex, it’s me...”

His voice was ringing in Alex’s ears. And it was the last thing he needed - the last confirmation that he wasn’t dreaming indeed.

“Marc...”

His body reacted before his mind could even form a single thought. He could see Marc stilling for a moment, probably not knowing how Alex would react. But when he finally wrapped his arms around his older brother, for the first time in almost five years, it was like a key finally fitted into a lock, opening a door that had been closed for too long. They both clung to each other, not leaving the tiniest amount of space between them. Alex couldn’t hold back the tears anymore and silent sobs on his shoulder told him that Marc was feeling the same.

“I’m so sorry, Alex, so sorry...”

“Sshh... it’s okay... everything will be okay... because you’re finally home... I finally have you back.”

And in the low light of the early night, two souls, two inseparable brothers, were finally reunited and the universe was starting to heal.

 


End file.
